This morning I saw my husbands heart break a little as he hugged our two year old goodbye and headed off to the airport. This is a short three day work trip so we are lucky this time usually it's a few weeks or a month at a time. He had kissed us both while in bed and walked downstairs to gather his things but, our sweet Scout knew what was going on so she sprung out of bed to in her words "go by dad." So we got to spend a few more minutes together hugging, giggling and saying our goodbyes. It was in that moment at 4 am in my kitchen watching my husband's face and he hugged and smiled at her I realized how much he was sacrificing as a parent. To leave for weeks at a time to provide for us is an unmeasurable task. I don't even like leaving our daughter for a few hours. I put myself in his shoes for that moment and I realized I couldn't do it and how grateful I am for him to be able to.

I am essentially a stay at home mom with an at home business but, I am able to spend every day with our daughter and I know Troy would do anything to be able to. When he is home I cherish those moments because, I get to take some "time off" as mommy and let daddy do the things I do everyday. Bath, naps, potty breaks etc, But, for Troy those aren't everyday tasks so it doesn't seem like work or a bother it's fun and enjoyable to do anything with Scout since he's not with her all the time. As parents we all make sacrifes to make our household work. Troy's is time with us as a family and mine is raising a toddler and growing another baby while he's gone. Always having to be "on" and taking very little breaks.

Needless to say, this morning at 4 am I decided to take a vow to myself as a wife to notice the sacrifices my husband makes because, I couldn't do what he does and when he comes home from work for a couple weeks he does what I do without me even asking.

As I lay in bed my daughter asleep next to me I can't help but, feel thankful, blessed, and overjoyed. She is mine. Part of me and my husband. A true blessing from God. It's been over a year and a half since we were given such an amazing gift and still there are no words to describe the actual amount of love. Sometimes it hurts physically how much love is in my heart for her. It feels as if my heart is too full.
Sometimes, I wonder what I did in life before her. Who I was and what did I do with my time? I don't miss that me. Sure, I got more sleep and was free to do whatever whenever but, Scout has made me who I am meant to be. She helps me try harder, think longer, and be more patience. She has helped me find more faith than I've ever had.
This tiny human has changed my life, the way I see the world. The way I love and how I feel every day. For that I am grateful. For her giggles, cuddles and temper tantrums I am grateful. For this learning adventure, ups and downs I am grateful. Being chosen to be her mommy I am so incredibly grateful. This is life I am living... with this sweet tiny human that God, my husband and I created. I am so grateful.

To all of the mother's out there who have thought at one point or another... oh my god he has no idea. Now don't get me wrong ladies not all men are clueless and some are more than others.
After having my daughter and stepping into this role as mother I have realized just how much a mother does. In turn I have also, witnessed my husband in his father role. Being a mother is a constant job 24 hours a day job we never "clock out." Even when our children are sleeping we are still aware and listening for them. Even if they are with a baby sitter we are still thinking of them and constantly checking our phones. The father's role I believe was designed to have that "clock out" tendency. It seems to be human nature.
When was the last time your husband said I am going run to Menards and then head to the golf course for some holes AND I am taking all the kids!? Probably not very often, if ever. Now let me ask you this when was the last time you went with all of your kids to the grocery store, the dry cleaner, the post office, the doctors, the vet, zoo, the park, the bathroom, anywhere really. They go with you every where cause, your the mom. It is the natural flow for the children to be with their mothers. Think back to caveman days the mothers nursed the babies while the fathers hunted therefore, men have been programmed by evolution to be clueless. Now when I say "clueless" I mean that in the best possible way because, its not their fault. I think that woman are at fault a bit too.. See, woman assume things. We assume our husbands are going to read our minds. I've learned men do not have this ability. I remember when Scout was a few weeks old I was nursing her on the couch and there was a sink full of dirty dishes. I was thinking very loudly in my own head why isn't Troy washing those dishes? What is his problem? I'm over here feeding our baby and the dishes need to be done. I felt myself staring, shooting daggers into his back and thinking he's so clueless! Why isn't he Helping me? After a couple minutes I realized I needed to ask him! I assumed he knew what I needed help with and he was just sitting there thinking "my wife's got this mommy house wife thing under control, She's got this," So ladies what I have learned is a little gentle nudge does the trick usually. Honestly though I just think us "mommies" do such a good job they just don't want to mess with perfection.